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        情感挽回 > 新聞動態 > 挽回愛情 >

        新聞動態

        關于拯救婚姻的10條忠告,你看明白了嗎?發布時間:2019-02-20 14:24 瀏覽:

        “婚姻就像一座圍城,城外的人想進去,城內的人卻想出來”,更有人直說婚姻是愛情的墳墓,所有王子公主的童話統統截止到舉行婚禮為止,因為接下來就是愛情破碎的時刻。婚后的生活大多就是雞零狗碎、一地雞毛,看似煩亂、枯燥、平凡,但就是這些不經意的點點滴滴構建了婚姻,這個家庭庇護的場所。因此,為了讓婚姻中的男女減少以痛苦收場的婚姻,來看看月牙情感咨詢小編給大家的忠告吧!

         

          1、婚姻是一種有缺陷的生活

          婚姻并沒有想象中那么甜美和明媚,婚姻很累人,所以不要試圖尋找完美的婚姻。在日常生活中,有許多面臨婚姻危機的夫婦都在相互抱怨,責怪對方有各種缺點和毛病,怪罪對方將矛盾激化,并試圖用理想婚姻的要求解決現在的所有問題。

          其實這只會將婚姻的矛盾擴大化,因為沒有不幸的婚姻,只有不幸的人,下一段婚姻只不過是換了一個對象重蹈覆轍而已。其實,婚姻中根本就沒有永遠的幸福,從某種意義上說婚姻離不幸更為接近。意識不到這一點,還是離了,再也別結了,單身一輩子吧!

         

          2、尋求積極適度的吵架

          夫妻雙方應該學會積極適度的吵架,沒錯,這也許是解決婚姻危機和緩解婚姻矛盾的良方。解決問題就需要溝通,而吵架就是另類的溝通,適度吵架,有利于解決婚姻危機。而經常憋在心里不說,一忍再忍的結果就是直接離婚,所以不吵架的夫妻往往不能長久。吵架最終的結果不會對雙方造成極大的傷害,只是一種激烈的磨合方式和溝通方式,吵架以后反而解決了許多問題,有助于雙方的了解。

         

          3、請父母親朋介入婚姻危機反而越來越糟

          結婚是兩個家庭的事,但離婚真的就是兩個人的事。相當一部分人在婚姻危機到來的時候,采取不斷地找父母親朋訴說求助的方式,結果反而剪不斷,理還亂,越來越糟。

          這種請求父母、親朋好友解決自己的夫妻關系諸多矛盾,往往越發有偏見,一遍又一遍地訴說,哪個父母、親朋好友還能不偏袒傾述的一方?于是幫你討伐對方,使得矛盾火上澆油。尤其是越來越多的強勢父母,成為年輕夫妻最大的婚姻殺手。

         

          4、不要試圖用婚外情沖淡婚姻危機

          如不愛,請分手后再尋新歡,千萬不要吃著碗里看著鍋里。以婚外情沖淡婚姻的危機,結果,就會進入一個誤區,婚外情的激情和暫時的幸福感并不能滿足你的最終需要,結果以結束第一次婚姻為代價,而且往往婚外情也以失敗告終,結果由主動變為被動,優勢變成劣勢,即使法院判決,也必將不利于自己,最后只能是一無所有,身敗名裂。

         

          5、冷戰的危害比你想象的要大得多

          有的夫妻以為冷戰或者分居就可以撲滅戰火,緩解矛盾,拯救感情,殊不知這種消極的冷戰只會加重婚姻危機。冷戰的后果往往是感情變淡,雙方都絕望,因為誰也不會在這段時間內好好思考婚姻的危機,相反會尋找合適的下家,一旦有好的,果斷離婚。

         

          6、不要效仿別人的辦法解決婚姻危機

          幸福的家庭相似,不幸的家庭各不相同,不要效仿別人的辦法解決婚姻危機,每一個家庭的類型是不同的,處境不一樣,人際關系不一樣,面臨的問題不一樣,也就沒有一模一樣的矛盾,很可能有一種放之四海皆有效的方法,卻只是不適合你一人,所以,如何溯本求源,對癥下藥尋找自己婚姻危機解決方案,顯得很必要。

         

          7、制定解決婚姻危機短期具體的目標

          婚姻危機其實是“冰凍三尺非一日之寒”,絕非一朝一夕造成的,危機來如山倒,危機走如抽絲,解決婚姻危機也不可能一蹴而就,為走出危機不要制定一個婚姻美滿的抽象目標,你要制定一個切實可行最可能圓滿實施的短期目標。

          只要希望改善婚姻危機的一方在一個小行為,或者在一個小言語上做出與矛盾激化相反的做法,就可以牽一發動全身,改變全局。比如對方經常大聲喊,你可以讓對方先小聲說話;對方經常夜不歸宿,你可以讓對方晚上11點之前回家;對方經常抽煙,你可以要求對方先少抽幾根。……總之,每天改變一點點,還有多大的矛盾不能化解呢?

         

          8、只有主動改變你自己,才可以改變婚姻的命運

          面臨婚姻危機的一方不要總認為自己太委屈,認為自己受的傷比對方大。其實對方何嘗不是受害者,哪怕對方犯了出軌等原則性問題,你也有脫不掉的責任,好好反思自己吧,你做的真的夠好嗎?有人說:我做的很好,100%付出真心,對方還是出軌,那沒辦法,誰讓你瞎了眼看上對方呢?

          對于兩口子來說,承受這些小委屈,容忍一些小錯誤還是值得的。記住這樣一點,只有主動改變你自己,才可以改變婚姻的命運,妄圖通過改變對方和環境來改變婚姻,只能是竹籃打水一場空。

         

          9、離婚對孩子的傷害遠遠比父母想像的要深得多

          大部分面臨離婚危機的夫妻考慮的最多是孩子,但離婚對孩子的傷害很大,哪怕是你和孩子單過,不再結婚。有孩子的家庭,能不離婚最好還是不要離,離異以后的父母如果雙雙再婚,這些孩子要面對兩個爸爸和媽媽,在4個家長里面尋求平衡,對于他們幼小的年紀,實在是一種折磨,而且后爸或后媽虐待孩子的例子比比皆是。

          再婚或者單親家庭的孩子,往往少言寡語、性格孤僻、內向、不合群、懦弱、上課不專心聽講、厭學、逃學、做事不負責任、叛逆、易惱怒、哭鬧、破壞公共財物、依賴大人、做事畏首畏尾、十分拘束,生活上挑剔、要挾大人等。

         

          10、要清楚自己的離婚底線,就是什么情況下堅決要離婚

          你要對離婚的原則和底線非常清楚,如果不清楚,就想明白了再離婚,千萬不要一言不合就離婚!這些底線可以是家暴:被打一次一定要分手,有家庭暴力傾向、動手打人的人一定不能要,必須堅定地分手。

         

          處于婚姻危機中的夫妻請在離婚前三思而后行,戀愛容易,但兩個人走到一起很不容易,想想兩個人一起走過的那些好時光,因為離婚并非是解決婚姻問題的最好方式,很多離婚后的夫婦的幸福指數并沒有隨著婚姻問題的結束而提升,相反有所下降,所以經營好婚姻,對于未來的人生還是有很大的影響,也祝愿所有的夫妻好好經營,共同將日子過得越來越順暢。

         
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